Gawd.. I think alot about those little 13 yr old girls on the Maury show who wanna get pregnant and have babies.. they are psycho! Being a mom is really hard work, man. I was reading an article about a woman who went in for her 6 week checkup and was already pregnant with TWINS. omg. I would die.
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I had my doc appointment today to start birth control. I hate birth control, I really do.. but whatever. Im going to give the pill one more shot, and if it doesnt work, then ohwell. The last time I took THIS SAME pill, I ended up getting pregnant and having a miscarriage. I told those idiots that today, but.. they apparently think it will be okay this time. I have another appointment later this month for my 6 week checkup, and I'm going to ask them about the afterbirth and the things the doc said about it (by the sounds of it, I was supposed to have twins, but one had died..). While that is a depressing thought, in some sick & twisted way, Im almost thankful. There is NO WAY I could handle twins, not as a first time mom. Especially not having Bobbys complete support, and living with my mom in a one bedroom apartment.. jeez, it would be so hard to handle. Dont get me wrong, I'd be thankful had God given me the opportunity, but I also think he never gives us more than we can handle.
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Bobby and I hardly talk anymore.. he calls me everyday on his lunchbreak and its a pretty boring conversation and pretty much a waste of cellphone minutes. Then he calls me whenever he gets off from work and its basically the same thing. Lets face it, whenever your not around someone for so long.. and you dont have much to do with eachother, you grow apart. The past few days, I really dont even feel like being in a relationship. Im tired of haing someone call me just to see what I'm doing (where I am, etc) and tell me what they are (or aren't) doing. I really just want to be left alone.
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Tomorrow is Alaynea's one month doc appointment. Jeez, she is already a month old today! I cannot believe how big she's getting and how time is just flying by! It really makes me sad.. :( While part of me is excited to see her grow and become more independent, another part of me is sad to see that little girl grow. It wont be long and I'll be giving her whippin's and putting her on restriction. lmao. jk. Im anxious to see how much shes grown and how much weight she has put on. She's starting to eat more at a time now.. so I'm sure there will be a significant weight gain. Hopefully this time I'm able to catch it (I missed it at her one week check up). We're also going to talk to the doc about changing her formula, for her little tummy's sake. OH! Lastnight, she ate around 10:30pm, and FINALLY went to sleep around 1am. She slept until around 7am this morning! My mom was freaking out, checking on her every hour. But.. she is just getting more in her tummy at night and then she sleeps longer. Thank God. I hope she keeps it up. :)
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