34 weeks pregnant and STRESSED.

Babycenter.com says;

How your baby's growing: Your baby now weighs about 4 3/4 pounds and is probably almost 18 inches long. Her fat layers — which she'll need to regulate her body temperature once she's born — are filling her out, making her rounder. Her central nervous system is still maturing and her lungs are well developed by now. If you've been nervous about going into preterm labor, you'll be happy to know that 99 percent of babies this age can survive outside the womb — and most have no major long-term problems related to prematurity.

 

Week34

In other news.. which I'm not sure what I have and have not shared with you already.. (lol)

My doc appointment went fairly well on Thursday. But at my next appointment (June 7th) if I'm still having problems with the swelling, my doc is putting me on maternity leave. My blood pressure is starting to creap up, so.. he is getting concerned. It'll work out pretty well though, because by then I'll have one full check coming and will have worked enough hours to get half a check on the next payday. My paychecks are going completely to bills though, cause I know I'll regret it if I blow it on something else. (Sorry if I mentioned all of this before.. I couldnt remember who I've told and who I havent. lol) 

Bobby and are completely finished. He called me Thursday to ask if I wanted to come over to his house for the weekend. HELLLOOO I havent even been talking to him all week! See, he thinks he can treat me like crap and suck up some, and I'll come running back. Not this time. Anyways, we got into it pretty badly, he threatened me over the baby -- not me, my family or the cops would keep him from seeing his daughter -- and I had never even mentioned anything like that to him. He kept telling me to make sure I get a good lawyer, and etc. He hung up on me before saying "thanks for f'ing up both of our lives".

Now I'm stressed about all of this mess, and I dont know whether to give her his lastname or mine. Whether to call him when I go into labor, or not. Whether to get a lawyer ready, or wait and see what he plans to do. I'm trying to keep this civil, and not go nutso, but I dont want him to be able to take her away from me, or have her for weekends at a time, because I dont trust him. Especially whenever she is just a little bitty thing. He doesnt know where to begin with a baby that size, and I dont want her at his moms house..

I have so much that I have to figure out and everyone is giving me different advice and its really confusing me more.

On a nicer subject -- I got my own digital camera lastnight! :)  I am sooo excited. I'm open for picture ideas! I think today I'm going to take pictures of all the stuff my lil girl already has and post them at some point. Any other ideas? Leave me comments. :)

For your own humor; thanks to baby-gaga.com. xxo ladies. 

C34

Comments

[jenjen]

i know all too well how you feel.  i am approaching my 20th wk and the father and i are not together.  i'm not even really sure of how he feels anymore.  we're cordial but do not really talk about the baby.  he does ask if i'm ok or if the baby is ok.  but he's not going to be a hands on dad -- i know this already.  i've decided to hyphenate the baby's last name -- that is unless the dad decides he wants to be completely separated from the child.  if he chooses that option, i will have papers ready for him to sign away his rights. 

 

i know its hard not to stress about this, but for the sake of your lil girl try not to.  remember she feels everything.  it has taken me some time to realize i'm going to be okay w/ my child -- and you will too!  i've also discovered who my really good friends are -- they have been my rocks and guidance.  i hope you have a solid support structure in your friends and family. 

 

and in response to the father of your child saying thanks for f-ing up both of your lives....tell him its not about him!  you have a child now.....its about her!   and his anger towards you isn't going to accomplish anything.  be strong....take care of yourself! 

[Allison]

I have to agree with the person above. As hard as it may be, try not to stress about it. Especially since your blood pressure is getting high (that's something I had to deal with for majority of my pregnancy and it's a scary thing) I admire you for what you have to go through - I don't know if I ever could. You are very strong.

That's awesome you got a digital camera! I need a new one. What kind did you get?

[papRheart.]

Thanks guys. ;)

I got the pink Sanyo from walmart. ;)  view it here   Its just a cheap one, but its got everything I wanted. lol. I love it so far, no problems.

[Jenn]

I agree with Jen above..with the whole baby name. I wouldn't trust bobby either..hell I had a hard time letting Dustin have Hailie..cause he doesn't know what to do..I personally, if in your position, would keep it my name..especially if your saying the two of you are done.

A young mother at the daycare has 2 children (she's my age, 22.) one with her name..and one with her other ex's name..who left her. it's harsh..but man..I couldn't imagine a life like that..that's tough.

whoo hoo for getting a camera..my batteries died and I can't find my charger!

[Mamma Bear]

I would get a lawyer, and file a report with the police about what he said.  These days you really cannot be too careful.

I haven't read all of your entries, but it sounds like this guy is emotionally abusive and these things can escalate.  Especially if there is a child involved.

[Kuri]

Do you have anything your now ex can use against you? You really need to think about this in terms of lifestyle and past. It can make all the difference should you go to court. Although most courts will not award custody to a father or they are not too keen without hard evidence, I suppose it's the maternal thing. Especially not a new born child. I would seek legal counsel anyway, if he is threatening you like that then you need to know your options. It is for the protection of you and your child.

 I would not give my child his last name if he treated me with disrespect. I don't know how far this goes if he has been there for you or not but you need to weigh the pros and cons before you make a well informed decision on his name.

He sounds paranoid and possessive and you are pregnant you do not deserve to be stressed out because he can't keep his act together. You are not a toy, you are a woman. Set your priorities. If he treats you like dirt, kick him to the curb and go on with your life. He continues to threatening you, you get a restraining order.

If he wants to change, you wait till he's done at least 6 months of counseling per agreement.

I hate hearing men that act like little boys. I've been in abusing relationships. Mentally, emotionally and then escalating to physically and noone deserves that ever.

Take care, do what's right! And above all enjoy your baby and take some time for you. Good for you getting a camera, I love mine!

[Mamma Bear]

I would not count on getting custody just because you are the mother.  The courts in Oklahoma awarded my X-husband custody because he had the same job for longer and I didn't have a car. (I also had not one, but two crappy lawyers in a row)

[raspberryswirl]

It sounds like you have gained some inner strength throughout this pregnancy.  Pregnancy and deliver are fueled by emotions.  Before they get anymore out of whack make your decisions and stick by them.  Your baby should have your name.  Even if you and Bobby worked this out, you would still be doing 90% + of raising your little one.  You probably won't need to go to court.  It's most likely an empty threat, think about it...does he have the financial means and wits about him to even get the process rolling?  I wish you all the best.

[Nicolah]

What kind of digital camera did you get?! I want tons of pictures from you missy! I would not give her his last name. I would talk to a lawyer and see what you have to do.

[Virginia]

I feel you girl.

[Virginia]

I feel you girl. I am 35 weeks pregnany, and the father of my daughter has not contacted me since December when we had a falling out. Now he pops up by sending me a certified letter in the mail, as if he couldn't call. lol !! He explains how sorry he is for his actions, or should I say lack of, and says he wants a paternity test and a good relationship with me, and all that jazz. He is just trying to cover his butt.  All I can say is, irresponsible dads think they can let us bake the bread and when it's done they want easy part of just having a slice whenever they feel like it. They are worthless, and have no right to dictate how or what we do with the child, so as for your man, screw him, and screw all of the other dead beats dads in society.