my paper heart..

Bone Thugs n Harmony - I Tried

Bone Thugs N Harmony - I Tried ft Akon

Its been a while since I've heard anything from BTnH, but when I heard this song, featuring Akon. I fell in love again the way I did way back when. I recommend taking a listen if you were a fan, or.. maybe not. It seems like it has alot of meaning to them.

 

Just thought I'd post it..

QotD and sunburnt bellies.

What do you always forget to pack? 
Submitted by quornflour.

I always forget to pack my brush! Whenever I pack up and go to Bobbys house, its almost everytime I forget my brush, or my toothbrush. But, I have an extra toothbrush there, and I keep a hair brush in my car, so.. it isnt TOO bad. lol.

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Yesterday I woke up and ate breakfast, and got ready to go. We went to walmart and I got a bathing suit.. well, a bathing suit top and a pair of matching shorts. I like it though. ;)    It only took me about an hour to pick it out! I've come to realize I cant wear bathing suits in the junior department anymore. I can, but I dont like the way I look in them. Their little tops arent ENOUGH top for me, anymore. lol.

So, anyways, we went over to my brothers house and swimming in the new pool that my mom bought them last weekend. At first it was just me and my mom, because Leslie (my brother) was out fourwheeling with our cousin, and Tanya (my sis-n-law) had went to the mall to pick up a few things for the pool and etc.

My mom and I had got this stuff for a "fast" tan. It was really nice, and worked GREAT! If I could remember the name of it, I'd let you know in recommendation. Well, it wasnt waterproof though, so when I got in the water the first time, most of it washed off. After we got out and ate lunch, I didnt get in the pool, I just put some of the lotion on my belly and my arms and shoulders (why I didnt put it on my legs too, I dont know) and laid out in a chair. Well.. my poor tummy is scorched. lol. My shoulders and arms are a little red, but they arent as tender as my belly. Its not really that its burnt really bad either, I'm just not USED to the sun being on it.

Anyway, we're supposed to go back and swim again today, but I think I'll put sunblock on my belly and arms, and just put the tanning stuff on my legs, because they need it BAD. lol. Im so glad were having awesome weather though. It's so nice outside.

30 weeks! FINALLY.

I wont be around much tomorrow, so I figured I would go ahead and do this in advance..

30 Weeks pregnant, FINALLY. We're getting closer!! <3  I'm getting so excited and anxious to meet Alaynea!

Here's what Babycenter.com has to say about this week --

How your baby's growing: Your baby's a bit more than 15 1/2 inches long now, and she weighs almost 3 pounds. A pint and a half of amniotic fluid surrounds her, but that volume will decrease as she gets bigger and fills out your uterus. Her eyes open and close, she's able to distinguish between light and dark, and she can even follow a light source back and forth. Once she's born, she'll keep her eyes closed for a good part of the day. When she does open them, she'll respond to changes in light but will have a visual acuity of only 20/400 — which means she can only make out objects a few inches from her face. ("Normal" vision in adults is 20/20.)

 

Week30

Im still feeling pretty good, but I feel huge (and Im not even close to being as huge as I'll get) and this swelling in my feet/foot and ankles is getting annoying. Now whenever I wear my flipflops (forget putting on a pair of regular shoes) the straps leave imprints on my feet. :(   I get swelling in my hands too! I havent been able to wear my rings for weeks, and the swelling just keeps getting worse and worse. I wake up alot at night with my hands tingling or numb, kindof like the feeling you get when your foot is asleep. I dont get it though, when I wake up, Im not laying on my hands or anything, so I dont understand why they feel like that? These are things I SHOULD have brought up at my doc appointment yesterday, but ofcourse, I forget everything once he walks into the room. :\    Please let me know (those who have children) if you think any of this is something serious that I should call and talk to him about.

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I've decided that since Bobby and I hardly talk, and we havent told eachother that we love eachother in over a week.. I'm choosing the middle name for Alaynea, and he'll just have to deal with it, I guess. :\    I've decided I like Alaynea Grace. Doesnt it sound so sweet and cute? lol. <3   I think about her so much and think of what she'll look like, and what her personality will be like. I absolutely cannot wait to meet her face to face. I do think about.. and worry if I'll be a good enough mommy for her. Theres so much I dont know, and I'm constantly reading magazines, or looking up something online to answer my questions. I hope once she gets here, she'll give me enough time to look up things I'm confused about. ;)  I know with my moms help, and all of the WONDERFUL friends I have surrounding me, I'll be able to make pretty good choices for her. I just cant WAIT 'til she gets here, and out of my ribs! lol.

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We -- being Abby (my dads wife), Sally (another two year old teacher at work) and Jeri (70 yr old woman who works in the infant class at work) all went to Red Lobster and ate tonight. I LOVE those girls. It must sound funny, all of us younger ladies hanging out with a 70 yr old, but she is A TRIP, and she can keep up with the best of us! I wasnt very pleased with my food, and the fact that they riased the price from $20 to $23, but cut the portions down ALOT! After taxes and everything, my meal was over $25, NOT including the tip! Which wouldnt have been so bad, but jeez, my baked potato wasnt even the size of my closed fist!

Ahwell, I'll stop babbling. xxo.  Hope everyone has an AWESOME weekend! <3 

Todays doc visit..

Okay, so today I had my doc appointment.

Everything is still going great, everything is normal. I asked him about the due date change (he is saying July 17th, when it used to be July 7th) and he said that every ultrasound has given a different EDD. So, he is pretty much estimating between the four different dates he has. Judging by my last period, I'm due on July 8th, though. I, being funny, said "well, July 8th sounds alot better to me that July 17th!" He says he is hoping for June 30th, because the baby will be fullterm by then. Does it sound to you guys that he is already planning to induce? I didnt say anything, I just kindof laughed it off, and at the time, it sounded good, to get her out a little earlier than expected. But once I gave it some thought, I realized, he is hoping for a little much.

Anyway, just wanted to get some opinions on that. I have to get ready for work. :\   I dont wanna go, man! I have alot more to tell about though, so hopefully tonight I'll feel worth a flip and get online to post more. xxo.

Oh, btw -- sorry for the lack of pictures. My cousin took several of me the other day, but his computer is being a buttface and wont let him upload them. GRR.

Complaints about nothing..

C29

That said, I want those who are not, and have not been pregnant to know -- its REAL. You really do reach a point where you cannot touch your toes anymore. Oh, I can touch 'em, I just have to twist my legs in miraculous ways to get my toes to come to me! And if I do find a way to reach them, I cant do it for long because I end up out of breath and tired. In other words, shaving my legs while sitting in the tub is not a possibility any longer. I now have to stand and put my foot on the toilet and bend over to shave them. Painting my toe nails would take my breath away and make me passout, so my mom is planning to paint them for me. :)   I'm not really THAT big either, and it feels like I could just reach down there, but whenever I reach, its like.. something is blocking. Perhaps Alayneas head? They say that by now she should be facing south and getting ready for delivery.

All-in-all, I'm feeling pretty good. No real complaints with my body or the way I feel. If you want complaints, we'll have to move on to another subject.

BOBBY - father to be --

Ah, now theres a good reason for complaint! He came down this weekend, but didnt see him at all. Friday night I went and hung out with Tonya and Monica (my cousins who were in town..) and I was out late. Saturday, on his way into town, my brother calls me and lets me know that Bobby doesnt want to talk to me, or see me this weekend. Why? I dunno. I get him on the phone and ask him what his problem is and for awhile he wouldnt tell me. Finally he says, and i quote, "You were hanging out with your freakin' cousins all night long!" WTF!? I havent seen them in FOREVER they are in from another state, and at the time, they were planning to leave first thing Saturday morning, so YES I did spend alot of time with them, while I could! I hung up on him, and didnt hardly talk to him anymore that day. He spent the rest of his time with Ryan (his friend) fishing and bullcrapping around.

On sunday, my mom decided we would all go to my oldest brothers house and have a cookout, play games, etc. She asked me to call Mark (my brother who lives with Bobby) and Bobby and see if they would come over. Short version of the story -- they said they would and they didnt, my mom got pissed, called 'em and told them off, and the REST of us ended up having a really good time! While I was having a good time, Bobby and Mark left town and went back home. So, I didnt see him at all this weekend, because as always, he was too busy with his friends and smoking out, to take the time to be with me and my family. He thinks I will just sit around and be bored because he gets mad at me, and it doesnt work out that way!

Now he is actually begging me to drive OVER THERE this weekend and he says he'll take me to the beach, buy me a new bathing suit, take me to Red Lobster, and anything else he can mumble just to get me to come over. The only thing is, they asked my mom to come too and go to the beach, before they ever talked to me about it, and one thing they told her and arent mentioning to me is that Ryan (Bobbys friend from over here) and his girlfriend are also going, and he knows NOT to tell me that because I dont like them, and wont go. I just found out about this lastnight and havent had the chance to call him up and tell him off about it yet. Give me time. As far as I can see right now, I'm not going over there this weekend. Theres no reason for me to.

Theres plenty more for me to complain about, as far as my job, and some other things annoying me, but I wont make this post any longer than it needs to be. Hopefully today after work, my cousin is going to take some new pictures of me (if he is actually home..) so be looking for those later tonight or tomorrow. :)

I have to go to work early tomorrow morning - 8am to 6pm  >.<  And then Thursday I have my doc appointment, which should go GREAT since I already know I'll be getting a full exam. :(  Wish me luck!! 

I wont be long..

We're getting ready to go over to my brothers house for a cookout, but I wanted to update.

• Moms back home.
• Tonya and Monica went home this morning.
• Bobby is being a JERK.
• My cousins baby is doing better with his breathing, peeing on his own, and they are taking him off of the meds for seizures, but it will take several days to get it completely out of his system.  Once the meds are out of his system, and they see how he is acting WITHOUT the meds, then he is allowed to go home. There is SOME bad news. The docs are almost sure he will have long term brain damage. They cant tell much since he is so little, but as he grows they will be able to tell more.

 

Okay, were walking out the door.. I'll write more soon.

29 weeks aka 7 months..

How your baby's growing: Your baby now weighs about 2 1/2 pounds and is a tad over 15 inches long from head to heel. His muscles and lungs are continuing to mature, and his head is growing bigger to accommodate his brain — which is busy developing billions of neurons. With this rapid growth, it's no surprise that your baby's nutritional needs reach their peak during this trimester. To keep yourself and him well nourished, you'll need plenty of protein, vitamin C, folic acid, iron, and calcium. (About 200 milligrams of calcium is deposited in your baby's skeleton — which is now hardening — every day.)

Week29

29 weeks and counting.. phew. So today (saturday) starts my 7th month. Time is flying, and I hope it continues to. PLEASE let it continue to. While I havent had too many complaints about this pregnancy, I AM ready for it to be over. I want to meet Alaynea, and I want to see my feet while I'm standing.

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Well, my mom left for Fort Peirce today, so I'm home alone for the weekend, again. I think Bobby is coming over tomorrow until Sunday, so I'm sure he wont give me any peace. Im actually looking forward to enjoying some time alone for awhile, but once he gets into town, he is going to want me to run here, there, and everywhere. I dont wanna!

My cousins came down from Georgia, and theyve been in Daytona until today. I spent most of day (when I wasnt working from 2:30 to 6pm) with them. I miss them so friggin much! They used to live down here until about.. 6 years ago? But, I know if they hadnt moved away, we'd probably all be crack whores, prostituting in Orlando somewhere. We were on a one way track.. to bad places. When I see how much life has changed for all of us these days, its so funny to think of us smoking weed, hiding in a smoke filled bedroom every night. Now Monica is pregnant, due in August and she's changed SOMEwhat, but not everything. Tonya seems like she really has her head on straight, and Im so proud of both of 'em.

Well, goodnight (its 1:42 am for me..) I need some sleep. xxo.

Doc doesnt ALWAYS know best..

Okay so.. first of all, if your expecting LIKE me, I do not intend to scare you with this story at all. I intend to hopefully open eyes, to let you see.. doctors are stupid.

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My cousins wife was due yesterday. She requested to be induced on Monday, because they were having my uncle fly in from Indiana and wanted to make sure that he would be here for the birth. Last tuesday (a week before her due date) the doctors saw her and told her that her blood pressure was high, and they expected the baby to come sooner, and if her bp DIDNT go down, they would induce sooner that they had expected. They rushed my uncle down to Florida from Indiana (changed his flight date, etc) and he has been here since Friday. Everything went okay (I'm assuming) over the weekend, so she was induced on Monday, as was planned.

The medication they used to induce her, made the babies heart rate react negatively (I cant remember if it SLOWED down, or began RACING..) and he ended up pooping in the womb. So they rushed her in to do an emergency c-section. When the doc was pulling the baby out, he didn't do it quickly enough, and the baby (boy) took a breath and swallowed some of the maconium (sp?). This caused one reaction, which caused his lungs to collapse. I've only gotten bits of the story from three different people, so.. all the details I'm not sure of.. but I know his kidneyts were affected and his lungs collapsed. They AIR LIFTED the baby to Tampa General, and he is still there. He finally pee'd on his own today, and is now breathing on his own, but NOW he is suffering from seizures. They are putting him on medication for the seizures, and were waiting to see if that will help. The mother was just released from the hospital today after recuperating from the c-section. She was still in the hospital near home, which is atleast 2 hours from Tampa! She hasnt even SEEN the baby yet!

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From this event, I've decided. I WILL NOT be induced. Unless my doctor forewarns me that it is a desperate act to save my childs life, I plan to allow this pregnancy and labor to happen as naturally as possible!

I hope all you ladies have smooth pregnancies from this point until he or she is here. I hope it happens as naturally, and simply as possible. I hope that IF they have to induce or perform a c-section, that all goes smoothly. I hope these same things for myself.

God forbid I would have to stay in one hospital while my child was air-lifted hours away where I couldnt hold her, touch her, or even see her. I dont think my heart would survive, and I dont know how ANYONE could.

Work. Sucks. TheEnd.

Ah.. long day again today. I went in to work at 11am, which isnt so bad, ALOT better than 8am. lol. Theres just some drama going on, and its irritating. Let me explain --

I am a teachers aid for the 2's. I help Sara, Sallie, and Abby (my dads wife). Each class has atleast 9 kids, and up to 11 per room. Well, I mentioned before that Sallie wasnt there Thursday and Friday lastweek, nor was she there yesterday. Her mom had surgery and she wanted some time off to help her out.

Thursday and Friday I went in at 11am and gave breaks. The girl who usually gives breaks had Sallies class for the day. After I gave breaks, I took her class until 6pm, or whenever the last 2 year old leaves. Thats fine.

Yesterday I had to go in at 8am, because I was the one stuck with Sallies class all day, instead of the other girl. Which was fine, I needed the hours. My boss KNOWS I need hours, because Friday whenever I opened my paycheck and saw it was only for $165.00 -- I FLIPPED OUT!! So, she scheduled me to come in at 8am monday, and the rest of the week I go in at 11am. Works for me.

I got to work this morning, and Sara had called in, and wasnt in her class. Instead of calling ME, the TEACHERS AID who is with these kids EVERYDAY, they called in a lady who usually works in the nursery (with kids up to a year old). Its their decision who they call, and Delayna (nursery employee) is a nice lady, etc. BUT those kids have never seen her, some were afraid of her and wouldnt stay with her without flipping out. So, to adjust, Abby and Sallie had to take those crying, screaming kids into their class, and then THEY were out of ratio and order. This whole PROBLEM could have been solved if they would have called ME. The one who has a baby coming in a few months! The one who is desperately in need of hours to make car payments, and insurance payments, and pay back some debts I owe! My boss knows how I'm in need.. and yet she screws me over like this all the time! And the best part -- SHE HAS THE NERVE TO ASK IF SHE CAN "COACH" ME THROUGH LABOR!!!?

Needless to say, I REALLY need to get my friggin GED before Alaynea pops out of my tummy and into the world, so I can get a better job with steady hours and better pay. This. Is. Rediculous.

random sleepy talk..

I should really be sleeping right now.. no.. seriously.

I woke up at 7am to be at work at 8am. Sallie wasnt there today (she hasnt been since last wednesday because her mom had surgery) and I had her class ALL friggin day! A total of 9 two year olds, and the worst of the three classes of two year olds we have! She has mostly boys, only 3 girls (she normally has 11 kids) and they are all so highstrung and.. well, immature I guess. So, they dont listen very well. Actually, I thought my day would be ALOT worse. Thank God, it had its rough times, but for the most part, it was okay. I worked until 6pm. It was an all-day workout!

Alaynea hardly moved until after I ate lunch. One of the girls at work asked if she was moving any (at around 10-10:30am) and I said "she's probably SCARED to move right now, with all the yelling I've been doing this morning!" But, once I ate lunch and relaxed while the kids took their 2 to 2.5 hour nap, she woke up and got CRUNK. I could literally feel her moving from one side to the other, twirling and spinning, way more than I've ever felt her before! I could pull my shirt tight to my tummy and see her "lump" pushing out of my skin! That can really be freaky the first few times you see it. Bobby will probably flip out if he is ever here to catch it. lol.

I havent mentioned anything about my babyshower. Oops. My aunt is planning it for me. She always does the baby showers in the family, and does a VERY good job, might I add (no, she doesnt read this, so I'm not even lying for browny points..)! She is having alot of company coming in and out for the next few weeks though, so she said the other day that it may be late May before we can actually have it. I understand, but its still a bummer! lol. I'm so excited to see what we get, and start setting everything up. I guess I'm getting into that "nesting" stage, where I want to organize and re-organize everything for whenever she shows up.

BTW -- Could someone (or several of you..) give your opinions/descriptions of what contractions feel like? Obviously, I mean whenever they first start. Just curious, and want to know what I should look for, incase of any early labor, or other problems that would cause contractions. It's appreciated.

Well.. Im so sleepy right now, I'm nodding off. :(    I will try and write tomorrow, but no promises. I have to be at work at 11am in the morning until 6pm. :)   Wednesday after work, my mom and I are going over to my aunts house. They are challenging me in another game of Rumicube (sp?) after I beat them TERRIBLY last friday night. lmao. So.. if its a few days before I write again, you know why. xxo.